Mommy out of Control

I feel like a Mom who has lost control. I snapped at my boys so many times today and I hate myself for doing it. Granted they were fighting a lot and needed to be reprimanded but I yelled at them a little too much. I hate it when I lose it like that, it makes me feel like a mean mommy. I know I was stressed about Paul being sick and the day not going as planned but that is not a very good excuse. I need to learn how to deal with my anger a little better when the boys start acting out instead of blowing up at them. Maybe I should try the old trick of counting to 10 before I respond to them. I guess that will be my new year resolution.

Resigned

I resigned from my position at Hearts at Home yesterday. It was one of the hardest things I have done and I've been rather depressed about it. I know that it was the best decision though we have too much going on with Eli and the other boys for me to be able to keep up with everything.

I still feel overwhelmed with things and the house is a huge mess, I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to get it back in shape. I just feel like and failure when it comes to house cleaning and keeping up with things. I'm not sure where to start cleaning, part of me wants to throw everything away and just start over again.

Bad Day

Today has not been a very good day. I can't tell you how many fights I broke up between the boys, the baby isn't sleeping well and I'm playing negotiator for some friends who are each having a difficult time. I also have not had time to eat anything, no breakfast and no lunch so far. I even missed dinner last night. To top off my morning....When I got back from dropping Clayton off at Pre-K I found that one of the cats had vomited on the dining room table. They aren't even allowed on the table. At this point I wouldn't hesitate to get rid of both of them. Well, I still have a ton to do before I have to wake up the 2 little ones to go pick up Clayton. I'm praying the day will get better. I really need a break.

Time Flies

Time is just flying by, It's been 4 1/2 months since I had Ben and it seems like it was just yesterday. September is almost over and it's time to start thinking about the holidays. I'm proud to say that I have already started my Christmas shopping. I'm hoping to get most of it done before the rush, plus by spreading it out it makes it a little easier on the budget.

I also can't believe that Eli is going to be 3 next month and starting preschool. Honestly I can't wait, I think he needs that time with a teacher and other kids. It will also be good for him to have some time away from me, he is such a mommy's boy. It will also be good for him and Clayton to be apart for a little while through the day. I think they tend to get on each others nerves.

Clayton is going to be 5 next May. That is really throwing me for a loop. I can't believe that my baby is going to be 5 and going to Kindergarten. He loves preschool so I know he will do great in Kindergarten.